so obviously i decided to blog today. i ended up with a little bit of time right now, so I'm going for it! i have a nurse i love today. so glad. when she came in this morning she brought in all of cal's stuff to wear to surgery tomorrow, hospital bracelets for the twins, my belly binder, scrub soap, and all kinds of other stuff. holy reality check.
not having the moment where you sit in the hospital bed and having simms run and jump in bed to meet his little brothers.
not getting to have a "normal" vaginal delivery and going into labor. simms birth was so fun and so easy (thank you epidural) and tomorrow is foreign to me.
not leaving the hospitals with babies in the backseat.
not getting to have immediate skin to skin and nursing.
not having our family and friends simply be excited. i fear everyones tears when they see them hooked up to cords and machines. i know it won't be easy for anyone to see, but tomorrow is their BIRTHDAY and i want to CELEBRATE their lives. i realize this is probably unrealistic for me to want everyone to only be excited, but just being honest here.
i have made it to 32 weeks! the perfect time for delivery for mono/mono twins. satan often tries to come in my head and make me feel guilty that i have to deliver them so early but i know that this is whats best for THEM. they are safer out. all of my doctors agreed that this is when we deliver after over 20 years experience. we have decided to do something called cord milking for the babies. if you have heard of delayed cord clamping, its essentially the same thing but a better alternative for preemie twins. with delayed cord clamping doctors let all of the blood pulse from the placenta into the baby until its done pulsing. it is supposed to have lots of benefits for the baby (heres an awesome article on it if you are interested) but with twins you can't sit and wait on that while another baby is in there needing to come out. so what they do is give the cord 3 good squeezes of blood down toward the baby to give it more of its own blood (preemies typically require lots of blood transfusions so its nice for them to have lots of their own blood in them)
i've gotten the approval of my doctor but still awaiting approval from anesthesia to have one of my best friends in the room to take some photos of the twins taking their first breaths. those pictures are a huge deal to me and i would really prefer to have jennifer taking her amazing pictures rather than our crappy phone pictures. if you all could pray that they would allow her, this would be huge to me. obviously pictures are very very very important to me.
my morning NST looked good. lots of contractions. my nurse even said they would probably have come pretty early with those contractions on their own anyways. i got my LAST betamethasone (steroid) shot to the ass. passed my first glucose test after breakfast. still waiting on my after lunch test. hopefully i won't need insulin again. my sweet bff hallie brought up lennys since my mom and simms couldn't make it up today. thank for you lunch and all you have done for me!!!! love you tons!
my mom has also been a lifesaver through all of this. she took a month and a half off work (unpaid i might add!!) to keep simms for us. if that isn't sacrificial love, i don't know what is! i can learn so much from her. simms loves being with his "mumsie" as he called her the other day and i have been able to rest easy knowing he is either with her, debbie, or cal for 99% of my time here. cals cousins, meghan and anna, cals mom, along with my aunt gail have all also helped too! thank you all for giving me peace knowing simms was in great hands! my mom also brought simms up almost every single day with lunch for me too. plus she did my laundry!!!!! so for everything, thank you mom! i love you tons!
well. i guess thats all i've got for today. cannot wait for dinner tonight with family and to have cal spend the night for the first time yet! sleepover!!!! i cannot believe i only have ONE NST left. i never thought i would finally be here!
prayers i would love:
for the babies to only need room air and be healthy as they can be, for my recovery to be quick, for my nerves to be calm tomorrow, for a good night's sleep tonight, that i won't be dying of thirster hunger not being able to drink or eat, to not feel terrible from the magnesium, to not throw up during the actual surgery, to have the strength to go see the twins quickly after i am out of recovery and in a room (i have to be able to get out of bed and in a wheelchair), for my family to not be shocked by the NICU, to have my friend jennifer be able to come back for photos, and for cal's nerves to be calm.
ONE MORE DAY.
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