29 weeks

day 30:
last night's NST seemed different to me. both boys heart rate is usually around 150.. last night they stayed around 120s. apparently their heart rates will drop with gestational age. my nurse didn't seem concerned with it last night but of course i was sending photos of my strips to nurse barb (who is on vacation and still dealing with my annoying ass…she rocks in case i haven't made that clear) and she assured me they looked great and not to worry. i listen to what barb says. i also got my steroid shot after i wrote the blog yesterday. nothing like a shot in the ass..i mean of course it can't go in my picc line. must. go. in. ass.

this morning i popped out of bed at a fresh 5:45 am… thanks steroids. so i was ready on time for my NST which is rare. i am always asking for an extra 5-10 minutes. i got a nurse i had never had today along with one i have. i am going to be honest. this annoyed me. i have been here a month and feel like if i haven't had them already, no thanks. i am very attached to my awesome nurses and don't like learning someone new (yes i know this is terrible.) but i really really rely on consistency here. it gives me peace. but when a new nurse comes in, she doesn't know the routine with me. such as, how i use lotion instead of the ultrasound gel for my NSTs and how when you flush my picc line you have to pulse the flush instead of pushing it in all at once. i could go on about my routines here, but ill spare you guys the misery. so when a new nurse comes in, i feel like a giant bitch trying to tell them what "we" do. the last thing i want to come across as is a know it all.

so today was my picc line dressing change day! a day i wait for all week. the dressing is the sticker around the picc line and it basically feels like poison ivy all week long. but when they change it, they clean it with several different things that feel like pure heaven. its the only time all week that it doesn't itch miserably. so i was super excited about this. well, of course the nurse i am not used to having is here to do it. which sucks. its nothing against her, she is sweet as can be…..but she didn't do it like i was used to. very disappointing. so i may ask the charge nurse if i can always have the same nurse do it so i know what to expect. am i sounding like rain man? i think i am.

so anyways, this mornings NST their heart rates were back in the 150s? i asked doc hennessey, barb, and the resident doctor all about it today and everyone said it was all fine. they did have a few more variables (dips) more than usual but again, nothing to be concerned about. after i got off the monitors cals aunt and his two cousins (hope, meghan, and anna) came up to see me and brought lennys (thank you guys!!) those girls are like sisters to me and i love them tons! not to mention thats 2 of simms' favorite babysitters. after they left my friend lea came up to visit, in the midst of her chaotic life! thank you for taking time out of your day to come visit lea!! just as she was leaving my mom and monkey got here! mom ate at my most favorite lunch spot around here (subs and such in maryville) and brought me a 213987 inch sandwich that ill be eating all week long..hahahaha. thank you mom!

since i had a steroid shot yesterday (and another one today) i have to get my blood sugar tested an hour after i eat. its honestly the worst part to me. not the finger prick but watching how much sugar i eat so that i won't need insulin. i hate that the steroid shots cause your blood sugar to spike and today i am going to complain about it because i love sugar. simms was a little more interested in it today than i am

(lens: mom)

when she left to take him home for a nap i walked out with them carry him. i went to hand him off and he reached back for me crying. he hasn't done that yet but its a horrible feeling. the silver lining is that he still wants his mom even though i only spend a couple hours a day with him. 

pretty sure my other favorite night nurse is off again tonight (and she should be, she works too much and deserves some fun) but if she were here she would ask me like she always does "how are you doing mentally?" and today i would say "OVER IT." its not that I'm sad but i am just over it. then my sweet day shift house cleaning lady comes in to clean. i've only seen her once or twice because i usually have leola clean at night (I've talked about her before.) but i was talking some to her and she has very broken english and a strong accent. i ask where she is from and she tells me liberia. she moved her 4 kids here about 10 years ago. i asked her how often she gets to go home and visit all her family (she and her kids are the only ones here) and she tells me they've been back once :((((( IN TEN YEARS. am i really complaining about day 30 in the hospital down the street from all my family? really? she didn't even seem to let it break her stride. she went on and told me how much they love to see snow and send her family pictures because they've never seen snow. how grateful she is for her 4 kids to be in good schools here and how glad she is that they are safe. thank you jesus for putting me in my place…again. see you again next week.

sweet kathy sheppard brought us another awesome dinner from the adpi house. thank you kathy!!! i am waiting on simms and cal to get up here so we can eat it. oh! and before i forget… I'm 29 weeks today!!  one week away from our original milestone. crazy. 3 more weeks. taking one day at a time right now though. 

crisis averted

day 29:
so last night the NST went well. everything looked the same as always. my nurse came in to take me off the monitor at midnight and brought my meds with her, like always. ever since i have been sick i have been taking ambien so i can sleep, otherwise i stay up all night with drainage and coughing. so i take my ambien and other meds, she unhooks the NST, and she goes to flush my picc line. after she gets done doing it, were talking about houses and stuff. i feel something wet on my arm and wipe it off. i assume some of the saline syringe had dripped on my arm, so i don't even look. we keep on talking and i feel my arm is wet again so this time i look…blood everywhere. she runs and turns the light on and wipes off my arm. we are both totally confused. blood continues to drip out of it (even with the green cap on the end!!) she goes to call someone from the picc team to figure out what to do and i of course had to take a picture...

when she comes back she still didn't have a real answer as to what was wrong. while she was gone i realized that the line that was bleeding was about an inch shorter than the other. it was very obvious and they used to be the same length. so then i am totally freaked out, wondering how the hell this line had gotten pushed further into my body and wondering if now its in my heart or something!? after i told her it was shorter she went back out to call. they said to her "are you sure its shorter??" clearly everyone was totally baffled. she comes back and says the guy on call for the picc line team will come in, but he isn't at the hospital. she also says i might have to get an X-ray to try and figure out where this line has gone. all i could think was "this is going to be LOADS of fun on ambien!!! except NOT" she clamps off that line so it won't continue to bleed and i go to the bathroom. i'm sitting there staring at it trying to figure it out and I DO. i came running out saying "i know what happened!!" the line bleeding was missing the clear piece at the end…

so when she had flushed it and unscrewed the flush it also unscrewed the clear piece, which is a valve and stops everything from coming back out of it. she went and checked the trash and there it was on the end of the flush! so she got me a new clear piece and crisis averted. so i finally got to bed around 1 and didn't have to spend the whole night with radiology and the picc team! praise the Lord!

this mornings NST went well also. nothing to report there thankfully! after i got done cal's cousin, mary bailey, came up and brought lunch! y'all. she is over 40 weeks pregnant herself and out bringing me lunch. i mean… could she have more of a servant heart?! the sweetest. thanks for lunch mb!! she also went with me for my ultrasound since they called me up during lunch.

the ultrasound looked great. both boys are still vertex (head down) and the cord flow looked great even though it looks like a big jumbled mess…

i won't get another growth ultrasound until next monday but i am hoping they will be around 3 lbs each by then. who knows though. they told me that twins grow like a single baby until about 28 weeks and then they drop off the growth chart. so i'm curious what they will be like next monday (i'll be 29 weeks and 6 days for it) doc towers said everything looked great and asked if i wanted to pick a date for the csection.. "UM OF COURSE!".. he pulls out his calendar and says "ok it'll be sometime between october 21-28" so basically anytime in my 32nd week…haha not sure thats "a date" he said the exact day will depend more on how many decels they are having on the NST. he also said that i would get another round of steroids today and tomorrow, then the next round a couple days before i deliver (they last about 2 weeks.) i haven't gotten the steroids yet today and i am NOT complaining.

we got a pretty good 3d today of baby a's face smashed into baby b's head.

when i got back from the ultrasound i asked my nurse, don, if i could go see the room i was going to have the csection in (OR room 4)…yes i am totally weird. she was like "are you sure thats not going to freak you out!?" but i like to know whats coming. i like to be as prepared as i can be, even mentally. she had to go ask the charge nurse because i am sure i am the first person to ever have this request but she came back with a gown, shoes, and hat for me to put on and said i could go!

it wasn't bad!! i am so glad i went. she walked me through the whole process of what would happen and who all would be in the room. its going to be a LOT of people. i am sure i will be a nervous wreck when the time actually comes, but at least it won't be totally foreign now.

tonight my dad is bringing us up dinner which is major for us. its so hard for cal to work all day, then go pick simms up, pick up dinner, and then come here. not to mention all the things he has to do after he leaves here. so thank you dad for dinner!!!!! it can't be much easier for my dad to get dinner either with how busy he is. so it sure means a lot. looking forward to seeing my family tonight :) hope everyone had a good monday!

one month!

day 28:

"in me… peace" john 16:33

today marks one month since i have been here! i cannot believe its been a month. the nurses always ask if i am losing my mind and i always joke back that i'm actually not, which must mean that i am the laziest person ever. i was telling cal last night that i think my brain has zoned out my real life outside of here. i forget where we live, what month it is, etc… i guess its my body's way of coping.  most of the time i don't even feel like i'm in knoxville. its all very very strange. i haven't zoned out of whats happening and why i am here because i think about that all day every day, but i block out the fun things I'm missing out on. if that makes any sense at all? i am probably sounding crazier by the second…. hello girl interrupted! hahaha. but i have a peace that i am very grateful for.

anyway! both last night's and this morning's NST looked great. still having contractions but nothing regular. i was really excited to have don as my nurse today.. she's one of my favorites! so that always makes for a good day. cal and simms came up as i was getting off and brought tomato head (thank you babe!) simms was in the sweetest mood ever and kept laying with me, which he NEVER wants to do up here. after lunch we went for a walk outside. simms is really into picking up acorns and calling them "corn." after i caught him with one in his mouth i started taking them away… i got a nasty response and his "i don't know" hands…

and yes he absolutely 100% rocking black skinny jeans. baby don't play.

i haven't gotten well since i got this sinus infection about a week ago. doc hennessey was going to write me a zpak back then and i thought i would let my body try and fight it off first. well.. it hasn't and i am DONE with feeling like this. so starting a zpak today and praying i feel better. cal and simms headed home to get his nap in and then came back with an early dinner and bendel! simms started copying bendel while he was here and was shaking toys in his mouth on all fours. if he doesn't cheer you up, i don't know what will. so pumped i have maureen again tonight as my nurse. hope everyone has had a great weekend!

the day we almost beat georgia

Day 27:
This mornings NST was nice and uneventful. Another little decel during a contraction but nothing to write home about. Cal brought me chicfila for breakfast on his way to work, which was such a treat!! I turned on the most depressing movie ever (hope springs) but ended up having to turn it off because I couldn't take anymore. Wonder who had the idea of making a movie about a couple with a failing marriage in marriage counseling. No thanks. Debbie came up after my NST. She brought a home cooked meal that I cannot wait to eat and a surprise of the most amazing shirt and cashmere cardigan (thanks again Debbie!!)

I about died when I opened it! She is so giving and thoughtful. Plus she has helped us a lot with Simms since I've been here too!  She can relate to me much more than most because she had a 17 month old boy when her twin boys were born. I joke that she jinxed me into this pregnancy of twins because her family has so many sets and on my way to the first doctor appointment she said "I hope it's twins!!!" Which, of course, had never crossed my mind. When I called her after I left I said "this is your fault!" Haha somehow my stepmoms blood must've gotten in mine! So now whenever anyone asks if twins run in my family (identical twins aren't genetic fyi) I always tell people thay they do in my stepmoms!

My mom, Simms, Nathan, and Jack came up after Debbie. I loved getting to see Nate and Jack. We don't see them nearly enough (we missed you Elizabeth!!) Jack is the absolute sweetest boy and Simms was so nasty to him. Wouldn't share any toys or anything. Guess he will learn about sharing soon! Haha! We watched the second half of the game and then they headed out.

After they left I just rested until Cal came back up. Cals mom and sister brought us up some awesome Cheesecake Factory for dinner (thank you guys so much!!) I swear I am going to weigh 2827lbs by the time this is all said and done 😂

 I lucked out and got Maureen again as my night nurse tonight. Praying for another non eventful night.

the leak

day 26:
well last night before i went to bed i noticed some water on the ground by the window. i keep my flowers on the window and didn't think much of it since i had watered them yesterday. i assumed i had either spilled water while i watered them or i watered too much and it leaked out. i felt all around the flowers and wall (on ambien i might add) and didn't feel anything wet. the water was inching over to simms toys, so i put them all on the couch in case it was a leak and not the flowers. i cleaned the water up and went to sleep. when i got up this morning, i saw this:

so um. yeah. thats not the flowers. i got my nurse to call maintenance and they came to work on it while i was on my morning NST. i had already prepped myself mentally for having to switch rooms. my nurse even took me and showed me where i would go. but they were able to shop vac the water from where it was pooling up outside on the roof and leaking down my wall. it was THANKFULLY no big deal. cal and i have an ongoing joke that we are cursed with plumbing issues, so we both laughed about this. seriously. we are cursed though.

during my NST all the sudden my nurse came running in. i hadn't been paying attention as much as usual to what the boys were doing and assumed one had come up. but baby a had a decal during one of my contractions. the arrows point to the contraction and corresponding decel:

the machine didn't trace the line well because sometimes when the contraction squeezes the baby it moves them off the monitor. so thats what happened. his heart rate popped back up though and everyone was relieved.  doc towers told me the other day "you will soon see dips down in the 60s, don't freak out" and he was right. this was the lowest i had seen. again they told me this would happen to any baby if you watched them as much as we watch these guys. 

i got called up during my NST for my ultrasound. praise the Lord, i don't have anything abnormal to report. everything looked great: cord knots, cord flow, babies swallowing, etc. doc hennessey was here today and actually scanned my at the end. he looked today for fat on their bellies too and they had it! he was really pleased to see that. i also talked to him about the decal. he, like everyone else, agreed it wasn't a big deal. nothing to worry about. i finally flat out said "if the boys continue to look like they do now (which he felt like they would), when will you deliver me?" and he said "32 weeks"….. thats in just 3 weeks and a couple days! crazy! did i mention we still don't even have their carseats or anything? haha!

my friend steph came and brought ham and goodys lemon cookies around lunch time (thanks steph!!! xoxoxo) and mom, simms, and bendel came about that time too with lennys (thanks mom!) simms has gotten obsessed with feeding bendel the dog treats that shawna brought up for him. he points to the dog on the bag and barks like a dog when you ask what a dog says. hilarious. this age is a blast.

plus he also ate some of his favorite things in the world (blueberries)… (since you are all wondering what simms ate while he was up here)

he would eat an entire pint every sitting if you'd let him. he acts like its candy??? anyway. i walked them out and put my jacket on today. didn't want to deal with being harassed. it worked. when i came back up i turned on pirates of the caribbean 21 (when are they going to quit making those damn movies?!) and went to sleep. i've been so exhausted lately and instead of fighting it, i go with it... in fear that what if i have an emergency c section and God was trying to prepare me for it and i went walking instead of resting. just trying to stay prepared.

cal is on his way up with simmy and dinner. i go back on the monitor at 8. crazy how fast the day actually does goes by up here.

me vs. security guard

day 25:
last night i got another great foot massage from the awesome barb! slept pretty good. this mornings NST looked great. its kind of feeling like groundhog day. always good NST with some contractions. not complaining though! the morning NST always feels like it lasts 16 hours but today cal wanted me to be looking for resorts to go to in maybe april of next year to celebrate having twins and also our 5 year anniversary. he asked me what kind of place i was looking for and of course i responded like any girl would "caves with underground rivers, waterfalls, interesting weather, lots of animals roaming around the resort, beach horseback riding and a beach"  i spent the entire NST searching for places like that. i found a handful that didn't require a layover in mars. its looking like costa rica is probably our best bet. i went on trip advisor for each resort we looked at and made sure there was plenty of pictures of wildlife that people happened to see. thats normal right? y'all. people were seeing SLOTHS, monkeys, peccaries, bats, and they said you could also see jaguars! SIGN ME UP.

 no one came up for lunch today so i went down and got a sub from the cafeteria. i took it outside to eat it and realized the sandwich was still pretty cold (pregnant girls have to have hot deli meat) so i was totally annoyed that i would have to go back up to my room and heat it up in the microwave down the hall. so much for enjoying being outside.

since i've been recovering from this sinus infection i have been so worn out and really trying to rest, much more than i normally do. i think i have the same nap schedule as simms haha. but during this afternoon's nap, my godparents (ratni and ebby) came in and surprised me! it actually wasn't supposed to be a surprise, i saw her text after they left. but i never saw it because i was asleep. they brought me a very sweet little necklace and theeeessseee:

thank you guys so much!!! xoxo!! i watched a couple episodes of "don't be tardy" and then shawna came walking in! she brought flowers and a toy piano like the one from big for simms to borrow for a little bit! thanks girl!!

i also got a package from jen..yall will love the "not safe for Facebook" shirt she got me.. she cracks me up! i can't wait for her to come visit when the twins get here (wink face wink face) thank you for the shirt and all the udis granola!!!

soooo…. here comes the good part…

i decided to go walk outside before my dad, cal, and simms get here. it was beautiful outside and i got some 'grams:

and as i am walking back a cop comes up to me and i assume he is going to strike up a convo about my big belly. HA! he thought i was outside crushing pills to put in my picc line!!!! dude.. come on. I'm not that desperate…yet..haha! but seriously. he wouldn't take my word that i was allowed to be out walking around. he called up to labor and delivery asked them about me and asked if i was allowed to "walk around and even go outside" of course they said yes. he told me "I'm perfectly allowed to do everything i am doing ma'am" can i please finish my walk? he then told me "i seemed alert and not like i was crushing pills" and obviously i was "allowed" to be out and he sent me on my way. the whole thing was hilarious to me at first, but then really sad that he even has to deal with that at all :(

i made my way back up to my room and my sweet dad brought cal and me dinner! thank you dad!! he got to see how good simms has gotten at walking so that was fun. my friend rachel was my nurse all day which was pretty cool... and now i've got another one of my favorite nurses (maureen) tonight! these nurses are so so good. i do not understand how so many can be so good, but i am so grateful for them.

28 weeks 1 day

day 24:
so yesterday i really wasn't feeling well and spent all my free time napping instead of blogging. but i'll get everyone caught up to date! i turned 28 weeks yesterday.

all my NSTs the past two days have looked really good. the babies have alternated having a couple little decels like this for 3-4 minutes, but none of the doctors were worried about it:

mom and simms brought an awesome lunch yesterday from oscars taco shop. dad came up after she left. in the late afternoon i got my first dressing change on the picc line. i expected it to hurt but it felt great because it had been itching under the stickers and it was great to have them changed. here what it looks like without the dressing!

oh and while i'm thinking about it… heres what my blown veins look like and the reason i am so glad to have the picc

i look like i'm waiting on jeff vanvonderen to ask me to come in a room and BAM my whole family is there and he's like…

#trackmarks

cal came up with simms last night and brought dinner but we only had about 15 minutes together until i had to get back on the monitors for my NST. i had one of my favorite nurses again last night (barb!) and she brought me slushies AND gave me a foot massage with her amazing young living oils. she is the shit and has given me a bunch of foot massages, each time she uses different oils. last night she used one called "thieves" which supports a good immune system… and i kid you not i slept the best i have slept since I've been sick. i wasn't up all night coughing like i had been! barb is making me a believer in essential oils!

this morning's NST also looked good and the same as they have been looking. they called me up for an ultrasound at the end of my NST. everything looked great at the ultrasound too! so so grateful for how good everything has been looking and really hopeful this means i will get to 32 weeks (october 21!) doc towers told me today that he and the other doctors talked and decided i'll get another round of steroids next week at 29 weeks, those will last two weeks and then they will give me another round a couple days before the deliver me. 

today is my mom's birthday so we are celebrating her birthday up here tonight! wahoo! what she always wanted i'm sure, a hospital room dinner! it sucks so bad we can't do more to celebrate her :( it is what it is! and tomorrow is my grandmothers birthday! so happy birthday mom and gran!!

i got some mail today from my sweet inlaws (thanks al and maury!) its so nice to be remembered and loved on. i feel like i live on another planet. haha! and my friends hallie and haley stopped by today. its been a good day and i'm feeling very fortunate to continue to have good reports on the boys. thanks again for all the love, support, and prayers. it gets me through each day!

growth ultrasound

day 22:
so last night baby b had a spot i thought looked weird on the monitors. whenever i see dips in heart rate, i always ask the nurses "was that bad?" and they always assure me it isn't. they call what i see "variables" and tell me they are more worried when the heart rate goes down and stays down. last night i noticed it stayed down for 3 minutes but no one came in and of course I'm no pro, so i didn't worry about it.

today i had one of my favorite nurses (don) and so that was a great start to a new day! the morning NST went great. the boys are starting to stay on the monitors better and better. my oxygen saturation was down to 94% this morning which was weird. pulse was high at 101. and blood pressure was low as usual 90/53. they were a little concerned with my oxygen but said it was probably because i am sick. after the NST was over i went for a walk outside and grabbed a starbucks chai tea on the way. naturally "the others" were outside smoking where i wanted to go, so i came back in totally annoyed. the point where i snap and go off is coming soon folks. as soon as i got back to my room, they told me it was time to go up for my ultrasound.

ULTRASOUND RESULTS:

baby a was 2 lbs 9 oz and the 43rd percentile (up from 1 lb 13oz and 10th percentile two weeks ago)

baby b was 2 lbs 9ox and the 45th percentile (up from 1 lb 15 oz and 41st percentile two weeks ago)

0% difference in between the two!

GREAT NEWS!!

only bad news is that now they are really impossible to tell apart. there isn't a small twin anymore. and if you are wondering why they are in different percentiles with the same weight (like i wondered) its because one had longer legs and smaller stomach, the other was the opposite. baby a had a borderline amount of brain shunting, but nothing concerning. cervix was still 3.11cm, which is also good! doc wolfe did say that it was a decel that baby b had last night but it wasn't anything to worry about. here it is:

when i got back from the ultrasound mom was here with simms AND bendel! i couldn't have been more excited to see bendel and see how happy he was to be here! he was totally his normal self. she brought me up some moes (thanks mom xoxox!) and they left in time for simms to go have his nap.

after they left i took a nap myself and then kathy sheppard brought us up an awesome dinner (thank you kathy!) and an outfit for each twin! so so sweet. thanks for loving on us kathy!! so now i am back on the monitors and the computer sitting on my stomach is making it say i'm having contractions when i'm not. so i better get off! so grateful for a better day today. Lord knows i needed it!

three weeks

day 21:
today i didn't want to blog and honestly, i still don't. cal's making me do it. today i have been here 3 weeks and prior to today it hasn't felt like 3 weeks. i don't know what happened today. it started out so great. i had a great day shift nurse. the boys looked great on the morning NST and stayed on really well. cal and simms came up at lunch and brought me the new iPhone and its amazing!! the cloud somehow managed to transfer all my contacts. i still don't get it. but i don't think i need to. of course i immediately had to test out the camera and the front camera is amazing. HELLO SELFIES.

got one with the monkey man too

jk… you wont see many selfies of me. i like the other side of the camera better ;)

so anyways. all that was great. a little too great i guess. when cal was leaving he kept saying how much he missed having me around and having a wife and after he left i broke down. he spent his whole morning, on his day off, getting me a new phone and lunch. he's literally one of the greatest people i know and i get to spend an hour a day with him. quality time is my love language and i miss my best friend so much. so i cried for a while after they left… then cal started texting me frustrated that he couldn't get done the things he needed to do today because simms wouldn't nap. its the most crippled i can feel up here. seeing the love of my life struggle (simms missed the morning nap because cal was out getting MY phone) and not being able to help in any way. just sitting on my ass, all fucking day. it makes me feel so lazy. so worthless. i could be out working, making money, seeing my family and instead i sit watching the time tick by.. watching horrible movies with queen latifa and steve martin (just shoot me.)

i finally got it together and my mom came up and brought food i could save and heat up for dinner, plus also some cute earrings from anthro! thanks mom!! while she was up here she mentioned that bendel hadn't been himself and that simms threw a toy or something on him the other day and he yelped. i am UBER sensitive about bendel because he has been through soooooooo much. i admit i am extremely overprotective and was most worried about him when i came inpatient. no one would possibly take as good of care of him as me. so i freak out when she says that. like heart racing, feel like i am going to throw up. i get full blown panic attacks over things with him. he's my first born. she explains more and says he's fine. just hasn't seemed as happy but he's still eating well and everything. i try and tell myself he's probably upset because no one has brought him up in several days (we have slight attachment issues) but satan always wants me to think the worst. for the rest of the day i didn't believe mom or cal when they said bendel was fine. it wasn't until the video that cal just sent me that i trust he is fine now. probably just missing me.

i had so much anxiety about everything i went for a long walk outside. cried and cried. finally had to come back up so i would have time to eat the food i no longer had an appetite for. i'm just over it today. I'm sick of being here. its old today. depressing. i miss having an actual relationship with my husband and seeing my kid for more than two hours. i miss being sick of changing diapers. i miss my dog and knowing how he truly is doing. i miss cooking dinner at home and driving my car and going places. I'm sick of asking nurses for everything and not knowing when these babies will be here. I'm just fucking over it today. on my walk i just wanted to leave and flip the hospital off on the way out.

today wasn't pretty. now its time to get on the monitors. praying for more strength tomorrow. i have my growth ultrasound so that should be exciting.

wish i had a beer. or 4.

frussie's

day 20:
last night they gave me an ambien to help me sleep through my sinus infection and sore throat. it worked. i think i only woke up once. my body is starting to wake up on its own at 7:30 everyday and its perfect so that i can shower before my NST.

the morning NST went great. the boys stayed on the entire time and looked perfect. doc hennessey popped in and said he was so impressed with how the boys are looking. we talked about how excited we are for the growth ultrasound monday, plus he said he would order me a zpak. they keep changing who they call baby a and b. apparently baby a is always who is closest to cervix. so for all of our sanity, i am going to keep calling the baby that was smaller and struggled for a little bit baby b. lately i noticed baby b's baseline on the NST is lower (130s-140s) while baby a's baseline has stayed in the 150s and he has tons of accels. no one is concerned with it. but this is the only change i have noticed lately. you can see both babies heart rates in the blue area and see how one is staying higher than the other (way down at the bottom is what monitors contractions, contractions look like waves on the screen)

cal came and brought me lunch after the NST was over. he brought a sandwich from some place called frussie's?! no idea. not bad though. we ate and i begged him for the new iPhone which he promises he's working on getting. apparently calling him daddy warbucks and santa isn't speeding up the process :( i literally have to delete pictures to take pictures on my current phone and i've had enough. not to mention my phone is what i do ALL DAY LONG up here. so i spent this morning backing up all my photos and videos so i can easily transition to a new one. and NO. i didn't use the cloud. does anyone on this damn planet understand the cloud? honestly. its like in math when we had to do imaginary numbers. that doesn't work with me. i need concrete things that exist. i don't add and subtract imaginary numbers and i don't put the whole first year of my son's life in an imaginary cloud.

after cal left i started panicking all the sudden about the twins having no clothes. simms had a full wardrobe at this point. with the twins i didn't know i was pregnant until i was 12 weeks. on top of that, mono/mono twins have a 50/50 life expectancy…so then i didn't want to buy a bunch of stuff not knowing if they would make it. THEN after they got to viability (24 weeks) baby b was measuring so small and they thought he might not make it. so i have been trying to be realistic and not dumb. ever since i heard he was small i bought a couple newborn outfits for them that coordinate but don't match (again in case something happens to one baby, plus i don't want them to match anyways) here lately i am getting more optimistic about them then i have started thinking i need to get some clothes for them. this preemie thing is hard though because i know that they will be preemies when they are born, but i don't know how fast they will grow and at what point in the year they will wear what size clothes. at the beach, before i came inpatient, i bought them and simms some clothes at fitz & emme and gigi's… the cutest stores! but i bought them newborn clothes since they didn't have preemie. so today in a panic i got on kickee pants website and ordered a couple preemie outfits. they have the cutest solid baby clothes and are made of the most amazing material you have ever felt. my mom got them each a white onesie in italy that is for preemies too! so now they both have 3 outfits hahaha! I'm sure it'll be a while before they can even wear clothes after they're born anyways, but this is the kind of bullshit i worry about up here day to day. YES. i need to get a life.

i thought about ordering myself some more maternity leggings too since the hospital has suddenly become a polar vortex these last few days, but i gotta keep the hus happy, especially since he brings me a lot of dinners (i love you babe) so those will wait ;) my bff hallie was talking to me about having an open house hospital baby shower up here the other day and told me to start registering online. so thats my next plan for today. noooooot a lot going on up here today.

i finally got so cold that i went to go walk outside and warm up. as usual some jackasses were standing outside smoking next to the "no smoking" sign.. i should've taken a pic but i was too pissed. i'm one of those people that will say nothing and after it happens over and over and over, i'll snap. so y'all can get excited waiting for the blog when i snap and go off on people smoking outside of a HOSPITAL beside a "no smoking" sign.

my mom is meeting cal up here with simms shortly and hopefully bringing dinner! hope everyone has a great saturday! so sad i'm not at my friend shelley's wedding in charleston today but wishing her and kent the most happiest of days! xoxo

massage

day 19:
today i woke up at 7:30 and of course jumped in the shower before i had to get on the monitors. the nst went great. boys looked good! i had my few random contractions. nothing new. i couldn't wait to get off because i knew my dad was bringing lunch. i told him i just wanted a sandwich from somewhere, something easy on him. he's busy and doesn't need to deal with getting me some ridiculous lunch. but of course thats exactly what he did. he came walking in with rankins lunch and rita's thumbprint cookies. two of my favorite things! both are light years away from here and it was such a sweet thing for him to go get them both! especially because i feel like absolute crap with a sinus infection. obviously food is our love language. thank you dad!!!!!!!

right as i finished up lunch and he was leaving my friend melanie sanchez (owner of almadiem) got here. she had written me a few weeks ago asking if i would want a prenatal massage and DUH who says no to that!? melanie is unreal. not only is she a licensed massage therapist, she's a doula, motivational speaker, and a pro at just about any other healing art you can think of. lets just say a-list celebrities have been flying her out to L.A. to assist in their pregnancies and births. she's the real deal y'all. i was like "why on earth have you offered to do this for ME!!?" and she told me that God has given her this gift and she felt called to use gift it to me. man thats humbling. another gift i totally don't deserve that God has provided. i only hope that i can repay her for everything one day! before she left she laid her hands on my belly and said a prayer for the boys and me. i hope her zest for life rubs off on me! thank you for everything melanie!!

after she left i took a nap until my mom came up with simms and we all played until cal got here with dinner. he picked up chicken from the new place on the strip (cane's.) he got me chicken and fries and got simms just chicken. so i'm eating and have my food beside simms and simms starts taking my fries and moving them to his box. he ends up moving all of them but maybe 3. leaves me with hardly any dinner and then starts taking his fries and chicken and dipping them in the sauce. this kid is his father's son (cal is a sauce fanatic.) we were dying laughing. he basically used the fries as spoons for the sauce.

they just left and here i am writing this and sitting on the monitors. i feel like crap and am hoping they'll give me something to sleep. when i asked for antibiotics for my sinus infection, they brought me saline spray. i took it and tossed it in my bag and laughed. what the HELL is that going to do to cure my infection? NOTHING. THATS WHAT. it was just a few weeks ago i was on antibiotics for an unknown reason and now that i feel like death i get saline spray. free saline spray if anyone wants it!

well the computer in my lap is knocking the babies off the monitor so i'll be done for tonight. hope everyone has a great friday night :)

6:45am visit

day 18:
last night's NST went well. the boys looked good! baby a had a low baseline for a little while that worried my nurse some but the doctors were fine with it today when they looked at the strips. i had some contractions again, but nothing to write home about. they said it just bound to happen as the uterus stretches more.

oh and since libby hadn't come when i wrote my blog last night, i have to give her a huge shout out now. she brought us an amazing dinner from surin of thailand that was somehow so hot that i had to wait for it to cool off! i told her she was some kind of miracle worker! plus she threw in some buttermilk sky pies AND a doctor kit for simms (which he loves!!) libby you are too much!!!!! THANK YOU!!

simms offered to volunteer as tribute:

so back to today! i was woken up in the pitch black at 6:45 am by a strange man coming in my room. i was dead asleep (something i hadn't done most of the night because my throat hurt so bad.) the man said "hannnnnaaahh?? is this your room????" all i could think was

"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?! NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO WAKE ME UP BEFORE 8"

then i realized i recognized that voice and it was one of my best friends jeff hammond. he had some meetings in town today (he lives in south carolina) and he woke up at 3am and drove in town. Apparently thought 6:45 am was an appropriate time to visit?!?! hahah.. i wish i could've been more awake and actually gotten to comprehend what was happening! come back jeff! and bring ali and wren next time!!! i guess if you have to get woken up that early, its better if one of your best friends does it, right?! i should also add that he brought me breakfast, which i wasn't awake enough to eat. but thanks for breakfast and coming to see me jeff!

he left and i got on the monitors for the morning NST. same ole same ole. boys looked great. few contractions. time barely ticking by all morning. i turned on eat pray love to help pass that time and boy did that movie suck. i think it actually made the time go by slower than when i wasn't watching anything. 

my mom came up with simms after lunch and brought me two packages i had gotten at home. i knew one was the molton brown products i ordered because i was so tired of never smelling good. i only get to take one SHOWER a day instead of my normal two BATHS a day. I've complained so much to everyone about being out of good smelling lotions and out of my perfume. i didn't want cal to have to go buy me more perfume though because i hate giving him more things to do. he has ZERO free time. well i open my other box and its my chanel perfume!!!!! and its this size:

kelly crawley you are absolutely ridiculous and have completely spoiled me. this was the best surprise ever!!!!! and i don't think ill ever have to buy perfume again. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! 

i knew i was going to be having an ultrasound and my mom has never gotten to go to one yet, so i was hoping they would call me up while she was here. she was here a while and it was getting to be simms nap time so i told her she could go. just as we loaded simms up in the stroller they called me up for the ultrasound! luckily the ultrasound was uneventful. they just checked cord flow and everything was looking good. i think they were either in a competition to do the worlds fastest ultrasound or it was time for them to go home. ill get my growth ultrasound on monday and can't wait for that. i've only gained 2 lbs in the past 3 weeks but hopefully its all on those babies! their faces did look a little fatter on the ultrasound!

i came back down and took a nap since i didn't sleep well last night. then tonight cal came up and our friends blair and jessica webber brought up dinner AND thumbprint cookies AND petit fours (from village bakery, which are to die for!) we have gotten totally spoiled by our family and friends. its so humbling because i can never begin to repay everyone for what they've done. its so hard for me to just accept things. 

i'm about to eat ANOTHER petit four and hopefully sleep through the rest of this NST. praying for no need for emergency csection tonight because apparently the whole l&d dept is full and 4 people are waiting just to get into triage because its full too! lots of babies happening up here tonight! hopefully just not mine :)

sore throat

day 17:
last night's NST was nice and boring. had contractions but nothing major. slept good besides having a sore arm from the new picc line.

i woke up earlier than usual today so i jumped in the shower. doc hennessey came by and had no news to report. no news is good news. we did my morning NST and the boys looked great on it too. again, more contractions. actually the most i had seen, but no one was concerned. cal and simms got up here with lunch just a few minutes before i was done with it and brought some firehouse :))) when my nurse came in to take me off the monitors she did my vitals and i had a slight fever, i had also had one when she took my morning vitals but she hadn't told me. then it dawned on me that my throat had been hurting and i told her. she brought me some tylenol and it took care of the fever. weird to have one and not even feel fevery. i was hoping the tylenol would make my arm a little less sore too, but it didn't.  simms did his normal "get crumbs all over every damn inch of my room" thing and then we all took a walk outside. … it feels amazing outside! simms showed me his new squirrel noise cal has taught him, which was hilarious. he has suddenly started learning so much so fast. i love this age!

when we came back up to the room, he was being horrible and needed a nap so cal left. i decided just to rest after they left since my throat hurt. i dozed in and out and woke up to my mom sitting in here and then shawna came in too! she had gotten flowers to take to another friend in the hospital, but her friend wasn't allowed to have flowers in the room, so i got them! thanks shawna! someone else knocked on the door and it was insomnia cookies. cal had sent me a dozen! somehow a few of his favorite flavors snuck their way in..hahah.. fine with me, i don't need to be eating all of them anyways! then there was another knock and i got an edible arrangement from my cousin and his family (thank you so much chris, amanda, cade, and anna neal) i've actually already eaten it all.. haha!

my sweet friend libby offered to bring us up dinner tonight in the midst of her already chaotic life! so she will be here soon with surin of thailand! thank you libby!!!!!! any chance i have to not eat hospital food, i will gladly accept!

pretty uneventful day. I'm grateful for that. thanks for the continued prayers. the boys continue to surprise everyone with their great NSTs and i know its from the power of prayer.

27 weeks

day 16:
i'm 27 weeks today!!

and just to compare the photo on the right is when i was 27 weeks with simms. crazy how different i am carrying them!

 27 is a number that haunts me. i can't ever figure out if its a good or bad thing. but i see 27s all the time everywhere. its weird. but its my number. a boyfriend in high school told me it haunted him and i guess he passed it on to me. so far it hasn't brought much good luck. last night my amazing nurse barb was supposed to put in a new iv for me. i dreaded it all day. when she went to put it in, i guess she blew a vein. it really didn't feel good. she was hilarious about it and told me she was "sweating her ass off" and that she was just going to have someone else try today. she gave me a foot massage with lavender before bed. she is a saint. she told me patchouli was her favorite oil and i was like "BRING IT ON ANYTIME!! thats only like my favorite smell." i'll gladly let her make my room smell like a show anytime she wants.



so this morning my sweet day nurse came in to start my morning NST. i told her to make sure and get the toco (picks up contractions) on in a good place because i had several contractions on last nights NST and the night's before as well. she got me all hooked up and then had to start looking for veins for my new iv that barb didnt do last night. she worked a long time looking for veins and was so patient. she went for one that she thought looked promising and it blew. she went and got another nurse who is really good at getting ivs in and she said she wouldn't stick me unless she found a vein she thought looked good. she found one. it blew. the marks on my arms where they tried are hard to find if you're looking. but MAN are they sore!!! yesterday the ran the idea of a picc line by me and i got too freaked out and said no. but i did want them to talk about it at board rounds this morning just to see if the MFMs would allow it at all. when doc wolfe came in this morning, she said the doctors felt like it was a good idea considering the length of time i plan on being here. but i told her, i didn't feel like i was tired of getting stuck yet. well… after 3 blown veins…. i was ready. apparently i have good veins but they are just small and have a hard time holding the iv. so i went from being opposed to the picc line to wanting it (even though i was really scared.)  i weighed out the pros and cons….  CONS: it can get infected it can cause blood clots (i'm already at an increased risk for them anyways) the actual process of getting it sounds terrifying.  it goes to the tip of your heart they have to use lidocaine and an ultrasound to put it in it takes a "team" to do it it requires an X-ray to make sure it was placed in correctly its stitched in place on your arm i can't lift more than 10 pounds (more important SIMMS) with that arm PROS: i will never have to get stuck for another iv  they can also take blood work from it no more blown veins its easy to remove when we don't need it anymore its in the upper arm and not in horrible places like IVs i had been praying for guidance as to what to do. my arms are so sore from all the failed IVs this morning, so i told them lets do it…and begged for anti anxiety meds before it. we went on with the rest of my NST… the boys looked great but i was having contractions every 5 minutes toward the end of it, so they made me stay on it 30 minutes longer. the contractions died off, so i got off and showered. i told food and nutrition i wouldn't need lunch because i was hoping cal would come bring some since he was working near by. then it turns out he couldn't and i kind of freaked out but then decided i'd just go down to the cafeteria and find something to eat. on my way down my nurse told me that the eye doctor called and they were leaving me a contact for my bad eye at their front desk!!!! this was the best surprise ever!!!! i don't know what changed but i am so thankful! i met my mom downstairs with simms and bendel and grabbed a quick lunch and then swung by and grabbed my contact. we came back up to my room and i threw it in and it was a HUGE difference.  I CAN SEE AGAIN!!!!!! i played with simms and mom and bendel in my room for about an hour. he was hilarious today. he and bendel totally cheered me up. the other day, shawna brought up some dog treats for bendel when she was here the other day and simms wanted to keep giving them to bendel. so cute. simms is taking more and more and more steps each day. i am so lucky to still be able to watch him grow. little lives are such miracles.  they had to leave so simms could nap and i started getting anxiety knowing the picc was coming soon. they finally came and had to go over the whole process with me before they would give me the ativan (anti anxiety med).. i signed and got my meds in my iv line. i think i was too anxious for it to even do anything. i spent like an hour last night asking one of my friends every question in the world about it and she gave me a lot of peace about it. i knew i was doing the right thing because my arms are so sore and i can't handle going through that every week. its nice to know after one little procedure, i don't have to worry about it anymore. soooooo I DID IT.

it was no where near as bad as i thought it would be. i feel like i was a baby now looking back. but its just fear of the unknown. they made me sign a paper saying i wouldn't misuse it and i told her i might pour beers in it…she didn't like my joke. whatev. today was crazy and then i saw them wheeling a prisoner with handcuffs and shackles down to triage! i have officially seen it all now. guess she will get those shackles off if that baby is coming. hahaha. but seriously. what a sad sight. that poor baby's mom is in prison. i might feel like i am in one sometimes, but it makes me grateful that I'm not. that baby and its mom needs our prayers. i hope she knows about Jesus.  cal is on his way up with simms and dinner. hoping for a nice calm night. today was a little overwhelming. thanks for all the love and support everyone!!!!!!!
OH! one more thing… remember how i thought my PUPPPS was coming back? well i am in a freaking awesome group on Facebook of mono/mono twin moms and i always ask advice on there. its thousands of women all over the world. but i told them about the PUPPPS situation and they suggested switching the NST gel (ultrasound gel) to lotion. apparently it can be very drying. i switched and have stopped itching!!!!! praise the lord!!!!!

doctor day

day 15:
today i was woken up at 7:30 when doc towers made rounds earlier than normal, he felt bad and told me to go back to sleep and he would come back but i went ahead and got up. i knew i would have an ultrasound and an eye doctor appointment today, plus one of my best friends was bringing lunch up. so i went ahead and took a quick shower before my morning NST. i learned my lesson before and i was going to make sure and shower while i had the chance, even if i was exhausted and wanted to sleep. it was the right decision. they came to get me for my ultrasound about halfway through my NST.

the ultrasound went fine! no news to report there. everything looked normal and great. the only thing a little off was my fluid was still a little low but not too concerning. when i was leaving my doctor appointment doc towers said "just do another hour of your NST and you should be fine!" this was great news because i was supposed to do two more hours! i will gladly take only one more any day! so i came down and finished the NST. both babies looked great on it. both last night and today i had a couple of contractions but nothing concerning or regular. i just thought it was interesting that i am starting to having them now since i always said i think preterm labor will be the issue with this pregnancy before cord problems or growth. i started dilating with simms to 2-3 at 35 weeks and had him at 38.. so i felt like i would start progressing even earlier with twins.

around 1 jennifer got here with hensley and brought me lennys (thank you thank you thank you!) and hallie and my mom and simms got here too! it was so fun being with my best friends and mom and baby :)))))  while they were here i got two packages in the mail!! one was an array of goodies from alex and trevor stockton (thank you guys!!!!!) and the other was from my friend amanda scott, an amazing kaftan (thank you!!!!) simms busted into the things that alex and trevor sent and we cracked up at him with this:

the nicu case worker (hilary) came to take my mom and i back because i was wanting my mom to learn all we did with her the other day. jennifer and hallie were kind enough to watch simms in the room so we could do that (best friends are really irreplaceable. i don't know what i would do without these girls. i can only hope to be a friend like them.) after we got back my amazing day nurse came and said she got me an appointment with the eye doctor here so i went ahead and went to it. i couldn't have been more excited to get this vision stuff taken care of.

the nurse went ahead and did some of the appointment and said my vision had definitely changed from what my prescription was. such a relief to know i wasn't crazy. she sent the doctor in (who happened to be a girl i went to high school with!) and she went on to finish the exam. she dilated my eyes and i had never had that done before. at my eye doctor they take some sort of photo that replaces having to get dilated. i had to wait 20 minutes for the drops to kick in…. and then i looked like a drug addict for the whole rest of the day...

she finished up the eye exam and said she didn't see any big problems. she said pregnancy can change your vision temporarily so they wouldn't give me new contacts…. i was so heartbroken. i spent the majority of the day at this appointment….for nothing (crying emoji)… then i left the office and went to text cal….i couldn't see anything on my phone. couldn't see anything close up period. so dilating my eyes ruined my near sightedness temporarily… let me tell you, this was one of the worst few hours here yet.  I NEED TO SEE MY PHONE.

its taken hours for my eyes to become slightly more normal. i couldn't even start on this blog until late tonight because i couldn't see!!!!!! and it was all for NOTHING.

cal brought dinner up on his way home from work so he didn't have simms with him. it was kinda fun having a mini date! thanks to my wonderful mom who kept simms all day and night! i had been dreading tonight because i knew it was time for an iv change. but tonight the nurses started to discuss having me get a picc line instead of changing iv weekly. i'm still on the fence about it. it sounds terrifying. they are going to talk with my MFMs (maternal fetal medicine doctors) at board rounds in the morning and see if its even something they would allow.

overall today was great and went by fast….just disappointed about the contacts :(((((((

two weeks!

day 14:

last night my friend anna came by to see me. we never get to see each other anymore so it was a treat to get to catch up. unfortunately she was up in the hospital with her husband's mom, so i hated why she was up here. she came while i was doing my night NST and it helped pass the time. loved seeing you anna xoxo! the NST went well. the boys somewhat cooperated. in the past few days one of the babies is always so hard to find that we end up having to get one of the residents to come in and find the babies with an ultrasound machine so we can get them on the monitor and that happened again this morning. both babies are now vertex (head down)..or well, they were this morning. yesterday one baby was vertex and the other baby was breech. usually one baby is vertex and one is transverse (sideways)… but with how insane they have been these past few days i have quit guessing.

so back to this mornings NST… i hate the morning NSTs. hate. i like to get up and eat and shower but i can't do either thing until its over at noon. they bring my breakfast during the NST and i can try and eat it without moving, but its next to impossible and i feel like some sort of pig shoveling my face full of food while laying down.

so i just lay and stare at it, getting more and more pissed that i can't eat it. this morning i was more frustrated than usual though because of my eyes. we moved about two weeks before i came inpatient and when we moved, i have no idea where i put my contacts. by the time i realized they were lost, it was too late for me to make an eye appointment. i thought i could make it inpatient the whole time with the same contacts. of course in just a few days there were bothering me. i called my eye doctors office and begged for them to stick a sample pair at the front desk for someone to grab for me. they were reluctant to do it because it had been over a year since i had been there but they did it. my stepmom was nice enough to grab them the other day and bring them up to me. well this morning, i finally put them in and thought they'd feel awesome like new contacts always do.

THEY DIDNT.

my left eye was fine but everything in my right eye was soooo blurry. if you've ever had eye problems, you know how miserable it is. they can totally ruin your day fast. you forget how thankful you are to see until your vision gets messed up. i was getting a ton of anxiety about it because obviously i can't get to my eye doctor anytime soon and my glasses are about 10 years out of date prescription wise. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING, CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY VISION?! i am so blind i can't find my glasses beside me if i needed to, so contacts are CRUCIAL (my eyes are -5.25) i sat and debated about what to do and finally asked my nurse if i could see an eye doctor or something. she didn't think anyone was here today but said they would meet with me tomorrow. hopefully that happens! they gave me some artificial tear drops to help hold me over. 

cal and simms brought up some highlands brunch toward the end of my NST and i'd had enough of laying flat and sat up a little bit to eat it. one thing i have really missed is HOT food. people have been amazing about bringing food but its impossible to keep hot. the little things we take for granted. so anyways, of course when i sat up to eat the boys came off the monitor and my nurse came in to fix them and i snapped "i'm sorry but i am going to have to eat something and don't want to sit here watching it get colder" she somehow managed to not murder me and get the boys on while i sat and ate. thankful that my nurse today has grace. i got to come off about 15 minutes later. THANK YOU JESUS. jumped in the shower and got ready because i knew my mom, nathan, and elizabeth were on their way up with some taste of thai for me to save for dinner!! CANNOT WAIT TO EAT THAT. thanks mom!!! while they were here my original obgyn, craig myers, came by too! he was my ob with past pregnancies. i strongly believe simms wouldn't be here today if it weren't for him. he's an incredible doctor with a heart of gold. i mean what doctor goes to visit an old patient in the hospital on their day off!?! he was my obgyn when i found out i was pregnant with the twins and i was at his office when the told me i was pregnant with them and that there was no membrane and that they were mono/mono twins. he told me i would have to switch doctors because i was high risk. i was telling him today i had no idea what was in store for me when he told me i was switching doctors back in may. he also said that at my first ultrasound, the lady scanning me thought they might be conjoined at first! so thankful they aren't!!!!!!!! had to get a picture of craig with simms. don't be so excited simms. he only helped make you happen. NBD.

when i was pregnant with simms i got a condition called PUPPPS at about 35 weeks. it was one of the worst things i've ever experienced in my entire life. its a horrible rash on your belly that itches all day and night. you're basically allergic to your own pregnancy and its more common in moms pregnant with boys. you can't sleep. its like poison ivy x102398120. clothes are miserable. and it ruins your life. i spent hours researching ways to "cure" it (besides delivering) and ended up using a magical concoction of oatmeal baths, grandpas pine tar soap, prescription cream, coconut oil, and drinking dandelion root tea that made it go away after about two weeks. i never knew which things were curing it, so continued doing all of them. well. about two days ago my stomach starting getting a rash and itching horribly again and i started FREAKING out that i was getting PUPPPS again. some of the nurses have told me that the ultrasound gel is really drying and might be just drying my skin out. i am praying with everything in me that its just a mild reaction to it and not PUPPPS…because if i am getting PUPPPS already….i might just end up cutting my own babies out of my stomach to make the itching stop (delivering the babies cures puppps)… i would love prayers that i am allergic to the ultrasound gel and that there is an alternative i can use instead of it.

my dad came up with dinner (thank you dad!!!) not long after my mom and brother and elizabeth left. simms and cal were still up here. simms was being insane and needed a nap so i told cal just to go ahead and take him home. i walked all of them out and grabbed myself a starbucks on the way back up to have while i typed this. the salted caramel mocha made me a little sad i wasn't out doing fall stuff. i can't believe i've made it two weeks…. 

looking forward to turning 27 weeks on tuesday