i've officially been here for exactly one week now! really proud of myself. really thankful the week didn't absolutely creep by. if you have been praying for time to pass quickly, THANK YOU!
i'm realizing that i like the days cal works more than the days he's off. when he's off i feel insanely guilty asking him to come up and hangout because he gets almost zero time to do anything fun and i know coming up here is a chore. i want him to have fun and take simms to do things he likes to do and not have to worry about sitting in room 411. so. i think the days where he works and comes up for dinner are better. this morning he sent me a picture of simms and i could tell by the photo that they were at the grill at highlands row having brunch. my favorite. this is what we did every weekend and it made me really really really sad. i haven't been that sad all week. but the thought of him just carrying on our normal life without me in it was depressing. so i'll wear my black today and carry on.
after i finished getting ready i noticed two things that really made me laugh (which i needed.) the first was this lady on the screen saver, on the computer in my room that they use for charting. have you ever seen someone so pissed that they weren't exempt from signing, dating, and timing their entries? i mean, maybe you've heard of her dad, MR. UT HOSPITAL but she still has to do it. poor thing.
then i noticed that the wipes they use to clean off my NST ultrasounds after we are done said this:
alright. back to updates. my morning NST results looked great. the boys stayed on pretty well. doc hennessey came by not long after and said he thinks i might be here so long that i'll be begging to deliver. haha. i told him i'm prepared to let them cook as long as we need to! its encouraging to know he thinks things are going that well though! he wouldn't give me a definite time that they thought i would deliver at but he did say my growth ultrasound tomorrow will tell us A LOT. i cannot wait for it!
i think i'll be getting my second round of steroids this week too. dreading feeling like someone took a hatchet to my lower back but excited for how much they help the boys if they were to be born early. the shot i get is called betamethasone. it causes the babies lungs to produce surfactant. full term babies will naturally produce it and it lubricates the lungs so that they don't stick when they breathe. so premie babies that have been producing surfactant for a while are more likely to breathe on their own and need less help! i was actually going to have my second round this past week but they did my glucose test instead and apparently the steroids can skew the results for the glucose test if you do them too close together. just realized i totally forgot to tell y'all that i passed my glucose test (i had a 102) this week. so that was also good news.
i threw on my lululemon this morning when i got dressed because mentally i couldn't wait to go on my walk again today. but physically it took until cal got here at 5pm with simms for me to have the energy to go walk. i was exhausted today. i walked down and met them by the entrance and walked in with them. simms was being horrible because it was peak nap time. i broke down and started crying to cal about how upsetting it is that every time simms is here, he's tired and mean. it sucks so bad not seeing his normal happy self. it also makes me feel like he's mad at me and hates me now. but i know thats satan getting in my head. must. block. him. out. i tried to give him a snack and lay him down with me but he wasn't having it.
we decided to take simms and bendel for a stroll around the building outside, in hopes that he would fall asleep. we took a REALLY long walk. well, long for me anyway. and the further away from my room i got, the more nervous i got. i realized that i have some sort of strange security i get out of being in my room. i guess i just feel really safe there. i am gaining a whole new empathy for prisoners because i bet it is so hard to go back to the real world after a long length of time being confined. you start to lose sense of reality and i am saying this after just one week! he finally fell asleep on our way back to the room and slept for almost 2 hours!
my dad and debbie came up and brought us all wasabi! it was soooo good and so sweet of them to do after a late night last night (debbie's son got married!) thank you guys so much for bringing it! its SUCH a treat having people bring food up because we love visiting with family and friends, plus i'd do just about anything to not have to eat the hospital food. simms woke up and annihilated the rest of my dinner. as usual. he was even giving some to bendel and laughing when bendel would accidentally bite him getting it. love this kid's sense of humor.
after they left my awesome nurse offered me a slush puppy from the labor and delivery floor (I'm on the antepartum floor), which i would have been an idiot not to take and then we got started on our nightly NST. i'm really starting to think nurse ratched was a fluke. all of my other nurses have been so awesome. i can't imagine working on my feet, for 12 hours, and having a good attitude… but they do! nurses don't get enough credit for all they do. so to all the nurses out there: THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO!!!! and you guys will have to give me ideas for something i can bring these girls to say thank you.
the NST went really well and the babies had some great accels (accelerations in heart rate.) you can see the one they both had in the photo below that was still printing when we finished my NST.
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