27 weeks

day 16:
i'm 27 weeks today!!

and just to compare the photo on the right is when i was 27 weeks with simms. crazy how different i am carrying them!

 27 is a number that haunts me. i can't ever figure out if its a good or bad thing. but i see 27s all the time everywhere. its weird. but its my number. a boyfriend in high school told me it haunted him and i guess he passed it on to me. so far it hasn't brought much good luck. last night my amazing nurse barb was supposed to put in a new iv for me. i dreaded it all day. when she went to put it in, i guess she blew a vein. it really didn't feel good. she was hilarious about it and told me she was "sweating her ass off" and that she was just going to have someone else try today. she gave me a foot massage with lavender before bed. she is a saint. she told me patchouli was her favorite oil and i was like "BRING IT ON ANYTIME!! thats only like my favorite smell." i'll gladly let her make my room smell like a show anytime she wants.



so this morning my sweet day nurse came in to start my morning NST. i told her to make sure and get the toco (picks up contractions) on in a good place because i had several contractions on last nights NST and the night's before as well. she got me all hooked up and then had to start looking for veins for my new iv that barb didnt do last night. she worked a long time looking for veins and was so patient. she went for one that she thought looked promising and it blew. she went and got another nurse who is really good at getting ivs in and she said she wouldn't stick me unless she found a vein she thought looked good. she found one. it blew. the marks on my arms where they tried are hard to find if you're looking. but MAN are they sore!!! yesterday the ran the idea of a picc line by me and i got too freaked out and said no. but i did want them to talk about it at board rounds this morning just to see if the MFMs would allow it at all. when doc wolfe came in this morning, she said the doctors felt like it was a good idea considering the length of time i plan on being here. but i told her, i didn't feel like i was tired of getting stuck yet. well… after 3 blown veins…. i was ready. apparently i have good veins but they are just small and have a hard time holding the iv. so i went from being opposed to the picc line to wanting it (even though i was really scared.)  i weighed out the pros and cons….  CONS: it can get infected it can cause blood clots (i'm already at an increased risk for them anyways) the actual process of getting it sounds terrifying.  it goes to the tip of your heart they have to use lidocaine and an ultrasound to put it in it takes a "team" to do it it requires an X-ray to make sure it was placed in correctly its stitched in place on your arm i can't lift more than 10 pounds (more important SIMMS) with that arm PROS: i will never have to get stuck for another iv  they can also take blood work from it no more blown veins its easy to remove when we don't need it anymore its in the upper arm and not in horrible places like IVs i had been praying for guidance as to what to do. my arms are so sore from all the failed IVs this morning, so i told them lets do it…and begged for anti anxiety meds before it. we went on with the rest of my NST… the boys looked great but i was having contractions every 5 minutes toward the end of it, so they made me stay on it 30 minutes longer. the contractions died off, so i got off and showered. i told food and nutrition i wouldn't need lunch because i was hoping cal would come bring some since he was working near by. then it turns out he couldn't and i kind of freaked out but then decided i'd just go down to the cafeteria and find something to eat. on my way down my nurse told me that the eye doctor called and they were leaving me a contact for my bad eye at their front desk!!!! this was the best surprise ever!!!! i don't know what changed but i am so thankful! i met my mom downstairs with simms and bendel and grabbed a quick lunch and then swung by and grabbed my contact. we came back up to my room and i threw it in and it was a HUGE difference.  I CAN SEE AGAIN!!!!!! i played with simms and mom and bendel in my room for about an hour. he was hilarious today. he and bendel totally cheered me up. the other day, shawna brought up some dog treats for bendel when she was here the other day and simms wanted to keep giving them to bendel. so cute. simms is taking more and more and more steps each day. i am so lucky to still be able to watch him grow. little lives are such miracles.  they had to leave so simms could nap and i started getting anxiety knowing the picc was coming soon. they finally came and had to go over the whole process with me before they would give me the ativan (anti anxiety med).. i signed and got my meds in my iv line. i think i was too anxious for it to even do anything. i spent like an hour last night asking one of my friends every question in the world about it and she gave me a lot of peace about it. i knew i was doing the right thing because my arms are so sore and i can't handle going through that every week. its nice to know after one little procedure, i don't have to worry about it anymore. soooooo I DID IT.

it was no where near as bad as i thought it would be. i feel like i was a baby now looking back. but its just fear of the unknown. they made me sign a paper saying i wouldn't misuse it and i told her i might pour beers in it…she didn't like my joke. whatev. today was crazy and then i saw them wheeling a prisoner with handcuffs and shackles down to triage! i have officially seen it all now. guess she will get those shackles off if that baby is coming. hahaha. but seriously. what a sad sight. that poor baby's mom is in prison. i might feel like i am in one sometimes, but it makes me grateful that I'm not. that baby and its mom needs our prayers. i hope she knows about Jesus.  cal is on his way up with simms and dinner. hoping for a nice calm night. today was a little overwhelming. thanks for all the love and support everyone!!!!!!!
OH! one more thing… remember how i thought my PUPPPS was coming back? well i am in a freaking awesome group on Facebook of mono/mono twin moms and i always ask advice on there. its thousands of women all over the world. but i told them about the PUPPPS situation and they suggested switching the NST gel (ultrasound gel) to lotion. apparently it can be very drying. i switched and have stopped itching!!!!! praise the lord!!!!!