yesterday my nurse asked me which nurses i would want for the next few days based on their schedules and i told her. the nurse that came in my room this morning was not who i thought was coming. SUPER disappointed. its not that todays nurse is a bad one, she's not at all. in fact, she's incredibly sweet but her personality just drives me absolutely nuts. i'm going to say a few things and then i will let it go. but i can't bottle my feelings up, as you guys know. all she talks about is food. its odd. she is constantly asking on what i plan to eat next, asking what i have eaten, and even just came in my room a few minutes ago to ask if cal had brought me dinner yet and what he was bringing. when she gave me my tums this morning she said "yum orange!!" and then when she gave me my prenatals before i had lunch she said "heres a little appetizer for you" …..were talking about vitamins here. appetizer?!? i'm not going to get into anymore of the details because 1) it'll put me in a bad mood 2) i know she was made in God's image and i need to be nice. but just had to get that off my chest.
the morning NST was good… not exactly tailgating like everyone else was doing today though. haha
doc towers came by and said he wasn't worried about the brain shunting yesterday. he said it can come and go and he doesn't expect to see it on monday. he also thinks their weights will be the same. hopefully he's right!!
after i got off the monitor i was very anxious to get out of my room and go feel the weather outside. i was NOT in a good mood. i am burnt out today and told cal if my car had been here, today i would've left and gone for a long drive. i haven't been able to put my finger on whats driving me crazy but i think when i was complaining to my dad today, he hit the nail on the head. he said "the hard part for you is that room 12 is your home. and, random people have access to it and keys to your house." you just lose all privacy and quietness with living in a hospital (and i am not referring to the visitors i love seeing that brighten my day)…its the fact that at any moment a nurse, resident, doctor, maintenance, house keeping, or food service can come walking in. i think it would drive anyone insane.
so anyway. i go downstairs to grab a sandwich and take it outside to eat it and the sandwich place is closed. almost everything in the cafeteria is closed :( I'm starving and so upset. i go outside in tears and turn the corner to see this….
i cannot handle it and go back inside. animals are my thing. birds are my thing. i have a feather tattoo on my finger to remind me of the bible verse from our wedding (matthew 6:26) and to walk out and see this was a total slap in the face. WHY!!!??!! i really wish i had some profound thing to talk about that came from this.. but i don't. i texted it to dad and he (knowing how i felt today) said "i guess that bird threw in the towel too." first time i laughed all day. i definitely feel like that sweet bird today.
so i come back to my room and snack on chips and beg my mom to bring me food and being the awesome mom she is, she does. THANK YOU MOM!!!!!! she and simms brightened up the day and while they were here i got a gorgeous delivery from the trondsons!!!! thank you guys so much!!!
cal and simms are on their way up with dinner and i will gladly leave this room to go eat with them downstairs. i feel bad for being so negative today but some days are like this, right? i am grateful God woke me up today and i lived another day. tomorrow is a new day and hopefully i am back to myself.
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